Tuesday, 24 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 23: Hosker cuts down the cost of your x-mas fare!

Stuck on the platform waiting for that cancelled train? Sick of the gridlocked roads with Christmas traffic? Well here is your answer!

Hosker has ditched cutting down garden bushes and cutting off his vital limbs and has turned his attention to cutting down your festive fare! Launching AndyCabs at the start of he month he has been inundated with calls to provide his swift navigation skills and joyful chitter chatter to get Christmas clients from A to B.

With his harness now tightly fastened onto the local traffic reports and the only saw in sight his sore arse cheeks from the drivers seat, Hosker says the only surgery he wants to return to is the regular hospital run for his loyal OAP client base.

Check Hosker below unloading the last of his Christmas eve eve's passenger luggage!

Monday, 23 December 2013


Not many people know this but the second B in the BBC stands for Barnzey, and it seems he had finally found his perfect job working for the major broadcaster this Christmas.
But it seems it is a long way from making music videos for unheard DJs and skatepark documentaries lacking in Major interviews.
Barnzey has been asked to find and load the 156,000,000 Christmas repeats on the box this year and it's going to take all the skills he has learnt throughout his degree... thats right, absolutely nothing!

But Barnzey won't be beaten, look as he rolls up his sleeves and collar and smashes the reels on ready for you and your family to watch the Christmas box!

Saturday, 21 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 21: Andy gets his Christmas presents off the ground!

Lawrence has had a few ideas of what to get for Christmas, there was a greater price for milk, motivation to rollerblade, a novel on Steven Speilberg's perfect angles and most of all a real life working helicopter to film his home movies.

And it looks like Andy's dreams come true when he got his whirlybird prior to the big day. Lets hope Andrew has a little more luck with this chopper, as the only flying his last one saw was when he fly tipped on his way home to Oswestry.

Check out Andy's joy as he unwrapped his copter right before it malfunctioned and burst into a ball of fire!

ADVENT DAY LATE 20: The daily Christmas meal for Lewis Neal!

Lewis has been showing his new found dominance and fame in the inline skating world by having a Christmas dinner a day with all the trimmings.

After being crowned the rollerblading equivalent of Justin Bieber, Lewis has demanded a bird a day and a regular toasting to his good name and his dreams of reaching puberty on Proline!

Check out 'the biggest Neal' in rollerblading and skatelebrity with his illustrious company below, as they toast his 20th dinner of the Christmas season.

Thursday, 19 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 19: It's D-Day for first class postage!

Tom has packed in the bores of science and has been working his socks off as a postman.  Instead of working out what gives things mass, he has been tackling a mass of parcels for the girls and boys of the UK. The only laser Tom wants to see is the one in his pocket that tracks recorded delivery.

So check out Tom celebrating D-day and the final full sack of Christmas postage to tackle.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 18: Clarke disembarks to clean up snow woes!

Todays photo shows Duncan Clarke conducting his yearly snow support pulling others out of the white stuff with his brand new snow quad.

Having a big piece of machinery between his thighs just feels so natural to
Duncan and he can't wait to get on all fours and down and dirty.

 So when caught in a drift get Clarke to tug you off with all his power!

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 17: Edward Mul'led wining and dining

Edward has managed to pass through his Welsh university education with the one night stands ringing into double figures. But with Christmas fast approaching he has decided to find a women he can share a little more with than bodily juices... thats right a nice warm cup of festive mulled wine!

I phoned Edwards mum to find out the scoop on his hot new relationship. She told me that Edd and his date had spent Saturday and Sunday over at the Llandudno Markets, which was funny as I am sure I heard Edward say he was going to Bangor all weekend. Boom tish!

Check out the new love interest mulling sweet nothings over mulled wine with Mulgrew, before he turns on the charm and pushes things b'edwards!

Sunday, 15 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 16: Still a big Kid at heart!

Matty has always loved Christmas and GMtv has been able to dig deep down into his personal family archives to find a picture from 2012 showing Matthew on the big day!

Matty would wake at 4am, wearing his special canary coloured free agent pyjamas (signed on the reverse by his favourite skaters Todd Falcon and Bucky Lasek) and venture downstairs to see if St'Nick had been.

Look as the old photograph captures the joy on the kids face as he finds out he has been gifted a skateboard, he was that excited he just couldn't resist taking it for a spin on the deep piled carpet. What a top skater!!

ADVENT DAY 15: Surely that can't be Steele!

There's a fair few bits you didn't know about holiday season Steele Holliday:

1 - He bulks up over the winter to insulate his body from the bitter cold.
2 - He has a South African wife and child that he only spends time with around the Christmas period.
3 - After the strain of a hard day modelling acrylic he loves nothing more than to kick back at home and model his nappy and signature sash.

Happy Hollidays!!!!

ADVENT LATE DAY 14: Jacko selling his sausage, whats the wurst that can happen!

MJ has also been a lover of the Christmas markets, but this year he was fed up of being the receiver of the sausage and wanted to give a little back.
Wrapping up warm he opened his stall and started thrusting out his sausage quicker than he could put the money in the kitty.
So why not grab your coat and head down to the merry markets and sample Jackos banger, whats the wurst that can happen!!

Friday, 13 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 13: It's a nice day for a white wedding!

Jake has been looking forward to tying the knot ever since getting engaged and his dreams are finally coming true as he celebrates his white wedding.

He finally bought Linzi the ring See pictures here!  and rung the wedding Bell to ask if he has bought a hat for the special day.

Congratulations Jake and Linzi, it's so lovely to see you all so happy in this exclusive shot below!

Thursday, 12 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 12: Stark the herald angels sing!

Starkey has been at a bit of a lost end for funds and work since his big graduation day but has decided on a fool proof way to maximise his BA in Religious Barbershop singing and hit the jackpot this Christmas.
Reuniting two of his close uni comrades he has decided to use his angelic voice to amaze Ladies and Gentleman on doorsteps everywhere, and of course make some Christmas money.
Check out the trio hard at work practicing their lines below before they head out and binge on bongs merrily to get high.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013


When I rang Ben to ask if he had got his Christmas stockings out the last response I expected to hear was that he was already wearing them....

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 10: Get's home and the decorations are already Dan! (Requires Cockney accent)

Poor old Lacey claims his Christmas was ruined when he got home to find someone had already put the decorations on his Christmas BMX! The bike had green and red lights and someone had even hung a bauble off his grips. Dan was so upset he tried to perform a tuck no hander in the corner but couldn't even make the full extension and decided to sulk instead. He couldn't even put the fairy on top as Rich had gone to work to handle the mad Christmas rush for slate. What a miserable Christmas!

Don't worry Lacey there is always next year!

Monday, 9 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 9: Christmas just got a whole lot sweeter for Rich!

Rich hasn't stopped banging on about Sugar lately and now we know why, he coming to stay for Christmas!

Reuniting a long spun friendship forged back when Rich welded the very first Amstrad computer system, it is said the original conception behind the award winning TV show The Apprentice was hatched when Rich phoned Al and told him he had employed a young sprightly Tattenhall lad called Tombo to sweep up metal filings and record his topless punch dummy sessions. Sir Al hasn't looked back since.

Rich has wasted no time setting up the bunk beds and warming the fresh towels so they could get straight back to where they left off.

Have a sweet time you pair!

Sunday, 8 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 8: Get stufFin!

When he were a lad Finbar used to play with his pet Turkey Alan, they would spend long days up mill and down pit. E' wur chuffed when he even taught Alan to use the lavvy and eed do owt for that bird.

But then Fin met Pete and puberty, he skinned up, skinned Alan and mixed stuffing with the puffing! Check out Finbar and Alan bonding below, just before the stufFin commences!

Saturday, 7 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 7: Globetrotting for that Vietmantease Santa Claus

Ol' Saint Nick has decided that the men in England are just too hard to please this x-mas, so he has hopped a plane and flown out to get his claus into a Vietmantease santa to fulfil his pleasures over the next three months.

And it looks like santa will be cumming down Nicks chimney pot this year for sure as he hooked up pretty much as soon as the aeroplane landed. Check out Nicky giving his lips a licky at the prospects of having his cracker pulled this Christmas.

Miss you already big lad!

Thursday, 5 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 6: Barrow in panto: A performance to dye for!

Barrow claims he has moved back home for personal reasons, but the real reason is to be closer to his one true love 'PANTO'. And this Christmas is no different as Barrow fluxs up his legs and pulls on the silver spandex. Recycling all the tinfoil from his highlights James has crafted a suit to make any production company proud and skipped into the role of the blonde 'tinge' man.

James has filled the heeled camp boots of his acting inspiration and idol John Barrowman and just like the tattoo of titanic on his arm James hopes his performance goes down a treat!

So have a heart and help the tinge man find his with a wonderful performance this Christmas!

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 5: The soon to be... Father Christmas!

Daddy Dolelands has been preparing for fatherhood by stepping in as Father Christmas at local venues around the Tattenhall area.

Letting down numerous bricklaying gangs that he single handedly smashes 2000 a day in for, Danny has ditched his trowel and decided to get some preparation in with the tots. Danny has been teaching kids the true messages of the season including getting smashed and polishing off a stocking full of drugs.

But Danny's still been making a living to start preparing for the baby, he has been mowing down local Christmas trees with his body as he flies of his festive scooter. Unfortunately when asked to buy a cot with his first pay packet he bought pot. The silly beggar!

Check the evergreen salesman out below!

Tuesday, 3 December 2013


Danny has been trying to get into the Christmas spirit by writing his cards, but he just can't seem to put pen to paper.

He has tried to pen a few festive passages but everything he writes just looks like Scribble.

Witness the concentration on Danny's little face as he tries his hardest to write a festive sentence.

Monday, 2 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 3: Get in the Christmas mood with a large glass of Clegg-Nog!

He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's supplying your house with Dettol and wipes, Owainclaus is cleaning your town.

As another window on the advent calendar opens so do Owains shutter doors. With Janitors and window cleaners waiting expectantly to open that new mop and squeegee on Christmas day Owain has been up to his neck in it!

But 50 years on this planet hasn't taught him nothing and he's been dusting off the orders!
Check him out below as he sits back, relaxes and polishes off a well deserved glass of CLegg nog!

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After the latest iPhone but unwilling to pay them expensive X-MAS high street prices, then heres your man.

Nathanclaus can supply you with the latest smart phone preloaded with songs, current text conversations and even existing contact lists. Don't ask him how he does it because he doesn't have the common sense to tell you how.

Check out Nathanclaus below, with deals so good Nathan has to "pinch" himself and I'm afraid I have to "drawer" this latest post to a close. Get your orders in now!

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Sunday, 1 December 2013

ADVENT DAY 1: On location with Jonathan Sledwards

I have had the opportunity to catch up with ex-olympic triple jumper, ex BMX'ex'er, stone cold Steve Austin expression face, self confessed selfie addict Jonathan Edwards aka the guy who won the camera Andrew Lawrence sold 150,000 litres of milk to afford!

Never missing an opportunity Jonathan has decided to do a collaboration with the bleak abyss and has developed his own steadysleddycam to get them perfect pans of absolute nothingness.

Unfortunately the naivety of Naive Synagog rung true as Jonathan was caught in arctic winds and only had his VW Golf GT parcel shelf to protect his fringe from freezing even more perfectly into position.

Here is a live still Andrew Lawrence captured on his fully purchased Sony FS700 of ol'Jonny freezing his knackers off filming for the NAIVE X INSERT GENERIC WORD OR COMPANY NAME HERE RELATED TO CHRISTMAS deal...

... can't bleeding wait!

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